KGNE – Hump Away The Tears

July 7, 2007 at 11:17 pm (Anime)

I watched Kimi ga Nozomu Eien a few weeks ago, and it kept seeming like I could come up with something insightful to write about it, but…maybe not. So I’m just posting my incredibly incoherent notes, which will very likely not make any sense since I wrote them down as I watching and they provide very little context.

I tend to notice two major problems (now that low-production values aren’t a running theme anymore) with eroge adaptations. One is that they have fucked up plot structures due to coming from branching-story visual novels. That wasn’t a problem with KGNE. The other is that, since they’re pr0n, they tend to be very very pandery, which is less of a problem, but can get irritating, depending on if you are the target audience for the pandering or not. It was sort of 50% an issue for me with KGNE.

I liked that they kept some sex scenes in; they felt properly placed and contributed to the tone of the show, IMO.
I liked the emo, because I am a sucker for certain kinds of melodrama.
I didn’t really like the characters.
I really like the English titles for this, and the OVA, because they sound so retarded. I almost titled this post Rambling Hearts, but the pun just felt too overblown, even for me.

Anyway, my per-episode while-watching notes are below the cut [SPOILER WARNING: DUMBLEDORE DIES], with screen-shots added. You can think of it as stream-of-consciousness blogging?

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Hmm, I almost started doing work there; I’d better find some more anime to watch. Last anidb hint was Scrapped Princess, and that went pretty well; let’s see what’s up now.

difficult decisions

1. Future Boy Conan. Grah. I’d love to, but I can’t find it.
2. Monster. Too long / not in the mood.
3. Paprika. Waiting to watch it in a theatre somehow.
4. Eureka 7. Too long / not in the mood.
5. Kimi ga Nozomu Eien. Yech, eroge adaptation. Well, it’s short though. I guess I’ll give it a shot. Besides, I think JP said it had pr0n.

Secret Kanon Sequel

KGNE Episode 01: Bored. Bored. Bored. Bored. Bored. Bored. Bored. Wow, it’s like I can see the plot-forking text-prompts. Bored. Bored. Bored. Bored. Okay, hope this gets better.

pr0n time

KGNE Episode 02: Bored. Bored. Bored. This girlfriend is everything I fucking loathe about this genre. Bored. Bored. Bored. Haha cunnilingus joke. Bored. Bored. Bored. Oh, hey, boning…doesn’t that usually…take longer? Bored. Bored. Bored. They hit her with a car…SWEET! Meh, she’ll probably be back next episode.

I liked this shot

KGNE Episode 03: Ooo, time skip. And not back. Maybe she’s dead! Now everybody can be emo and awkward, which is actually a lot better than what I thought I was watching. Ooo, awkward grief boning. Thank god, they’ve mostly given up on blushing. This is neat and kinda smart. Oh, hey, she’s not dead, she’s in a coma. That’s even more awkward! Win! I wonder how long it will take her to wake up.

I got tired of finding good screencaps, so the rest are from the awesome omake

KGNE Episode 04: orz posture! Hmm, I wonder who bluehairgirl’s seiyuu is. *Looks it up*. I wonder if coma girl will wake up when the camera gets to her in this scene. If not I may be wondering that a lot. Oh. Looks like I-watch-too-much-fucking-TV syndrome strikes again: she did. This seems to move pretty fast. Looks like this episode will probably end with the couple finding out she’s coming out of the coma. Oh, a hit and a miss; told them in the middle. It is moving fast. Eye-wobble: nothing quite like it. I wonder if the pacing is because the game was longer [guessing; haven’t played it] and they wanted to fit in as much as possible. Oh fuck. They’re using a bullshit contrivance to elevate tension. That’s really not necessary. Would they seriously not tell a coma recovery how much time had passed? Also can she not see that everyone is three years older? Or did they mean that she’s insane? Is it like Memento? Slightly confused. Also. Very tired. Time for sleep.

ENGAGE

KGNE Episode 5: It is way too goddam hot in my apartment. This justifies watching anime instead of working. Maybe there will be pool scenes. … I wonder if there are any local pools not full of herpes. Hmm I wonder if Akane’s OAV is like 90% cunnilingus jokes. I really am a fan of the Impossible Emotional Situations genre I guess. Except previous examples that leap to mind are…Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Maybe I should watch more soap operas. Hmm, extended flashback; hopefully this doesn’t take up more than an episode. … … bored. bored. bored. needs more desu. bored. bored. bored. ooo pr0n. KGNE seems to be an interesting corner-case as anime romance. Can’t quite put it in words, but it’s more mature in content than the typical high school drama-romance, but it is still tied to that heritage, where josei-oriented stories have broken much further away. But maybe I’m just being fooled by the pr0n.

They are making sauce

KGNE Episode 06: Oh holy fuck is the rest of this series going to be fucking flashbacks. Okay, good. Hmm, I kind of want to play the eroge now so I can better understand how this was constructed from it. It really seems like this “memory” bullshit is just an excuse to put off a major climax for a while and artificially generate more emo. Huge negative points for lazy plot control. Man, Haruka’s Dad looks like an American. It’s…the moustache. Dude needs to tell Hayase really clearly he is not going to leave her for Haruka. That kind of doubt will eat at people. I wonder if the two nurses are in Muv-luv. I need to learn Japanese, because Muv-luv sounds hilarious. I can no longer determine if this anime is uncreative or very creative. I think because of the difference in tone, I buy its emo-drama more than I did, say, Kanon’s.

Now showing on PBS

KGNE Episode 07: Yes. Tenchuu. Everyone likes Tenchuu. Needs more Tenchuu. Ah, the healing powers of getting really fucking drunk. Too bad it’s habit-forming. And makes you hit your emotionally-ambiguous boyfriend. I think KGNE would be better if Haruka had just died. I don’t like her. She’s boring. If people would just stop insisting on this whole monogamous relationship thing, these kinds of situations wouldn’t happen, and then all romance anime would be boring. Or maybe it would just be like harem anime, except instead of picking one, it’s an orgy! There are some pretty realistic issues in here though. IMO a lot of making a relationship work in the long-term comes down to telling your partner what you’re really feeling, and also trusting that they’re telling you what they’re really feeling. Well, that’s where it should end up. The transition to that stage is a lot dicier. Hahaha the tsun-tsun waitress has tears in a bottle; the comedy segments are good for a change of pace, but not that hilarious…most of the time.

At this point the omake were basically 80 times funnier than the anime. KISS?! REWIND!

KGNE Episode 08: Presently I am barely awake; hoping this wakes up enough to finish code. Haha. Being a housewife is fucking boring and Takoyaki knows it. Whoops, pedownd! Lol-nurse stands just at blowjob-height. Stupid smile pep-talk. They were drinking this brown stuff earlier. WHAT IS IT? IS IT TEA? Also, it seems like Haruka is out of Memento-mode or whatever, so hopefully this farcical plot device thing with not telling her she’s been in a coma for several years will end soon. Good sequence here with Takoyaki sitting alone in the park and then the two of them in bed. Have you ever been right next to somebody, but felt much farther away? Well now that they never speak to eachother, they’re exactly like a normal Japanese married couple. Roman-tic! Whoa, hospital-bed boning time. You just know someone is walking in on this one. Or he could get freaked out by her mad scar. I guess he missed the memo: scars are a moe device, since the more injured and helpless the girl is, the more attractive she logically must be. I don’t know why I watch these anime sometimes DESU. I guess Crescendo (generic H-game I played to get an idea what Visual Novel type eroge were actually like) copied its major love triangle straight out of here, except with poorer writing, because it sure was similar: boring ‘ideal’ girl who loves the main character for no reason VS their mutual friend who is outwardly assertive, but actually really pscyhologically fucked up because she’s guilty about being in love with her friend’s lad. The thing that bothers me the most about anime romance is this tendency for the women to be SEVERELY DEPENDENT on the guy they love. That may appeal to the market audience, but I think it is a fucking one-sided relationship. It’s more like having a pet than a girlfriend.

Have I mentioned I love it when anime characters sing their OPs in the anime?

KGNE Episode 09: Long day over. Time for anime. Messed up doll head in the rain makes me think I’m watching a different anime. It would be pretty sweet if KGNE had a sudden genre change…I guess Muv Luv counts? I just like the idea of undercutting climactic romantic drama scenes with space ship beam cannons. The definitely slowed down for the last few episodes, but I like the lonely/raining cinematics in this one. Is Hayase going to go all suicidal? That’s no fun. I’m on the border of whether or not I can take the drama here seriously. I guess suicide is more common in Japan though; all those people jumping in front of trains…that is fucked up. Am confused why he is looking for another copy of this book. Does Haruka read it all the time or something? Ooo, montage. Is … ZOMG… MY FOOD IS HERE. Okay, is the tsun-tsun waitress in the yakuza or something? She’s all like I WILL FIND YOUR BOOK. Why do all these high-class servant-type people always wear sunglasses? Is that an anime thing or a Japan thing? Also, I have started seeing the sex-scene branch points again I think. Oh thank god: judging from the way she’s staring at her hair, Haruka must have figured out it’s like 80 years in the future. I wish all anime had omake at the end.

Episode 10: Okay. I want to hit this doctor in the girljunk. She is Doctor Stupid Plot Mechanics. Go away. Wtf, it seems like Akane’s voice changed suddenly starting last episode. Hayase is lol-drunk. Orange-hair guy is the token not-fucked-up character I guess. He gets props for beating up a dude taking advantage of someone who is drunk and depressed. If the dude in a love-triangle story like this has a reliable best friend, his primary purpose is to help resolve love triangles. WTF is this frantically-press-the-help-button shit. Doctor Stupid Plot Mechanics needs somebody to help her drag an 18-year-old girl out of the room? GJ Akane. If you stabbed your sister to death you might become my favorite character.

Episode 11: Confused by footage. Is Hayase giving Shinji a handjob, or just wobbling a lot while she rides him? Since her idiot coworker told her she needed to provoke her bf, I guess she’s decided A CAT IS FINE TOO. You know, I think I would be more interested in eroge if you could make any potential pairing possible. Like Mr. Moustache (Suzumiya) and one of the loli-waitresses, for instance. MOUSTACHE RIDES: FIVE CENTS! Bored. Bored. Bored. Needs more tenchuu. “If I had only been on time…this would not have happened” <- so is that like a strategy hint for the game? Also what is with Narumi’s cold? Is it just an excuse for him to collapse later? Oh. Oh. YOU GO HAYASE. DOWN WITH HEELS. WTF. Who can walk fine in heels, but trips without them?! See how the universe is designed to make romance anime girls weak and helpless? In Utena (and to a lesser extent in Mai HiME) this statement becomes very literally true, and a lot of the story is about challenging this Law. WUH OH. Narumi / Middle aged co-worker arc starts here??! Time for more MYSTERY JUICE. I am seriously bothered by this juice pitcher. I NEED to know what it contains. Minus 11 points for rapid sequences of fade transitions in this fever-dream flashback that make my eyes hurt. I guess Narumi has Chekov’s Head Cold.

lolwut

Episode 12: UNNECESSARY FLASHBACK TIME. Hayase has… RECTAL. THERMOMETER. I have apparently reached the large capital letter mocking phase of KGNE. Other fever scenes just aren’t the same since Haibane Renmei. MYSTERY JUICE IS A MYSTERY. There is an annoyingly short catalogue of anime facial expressions, which is probably why those “facial contortions” are so amusing. The scene I’m watching right now features eyes-shadowed-over-face, which is used whenever a character is about to say something grave. Oh, right, she’s mad he didn’t get mad, because her insane coworker apparently thinks BEING PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE is a useful tactic for productive human interaction. Well, I will say this. This episode appears to finish up the “plot” and now we’re down to the scene where the Jeopardy music plays in the background, and he decides which pooper he wants to stick it in from now on. OH. FUCKERS. THAT IS JUST WEAK. Doctor Uncreative Plot Construction has declared Haruka remembers nothing from when she last woke up, so now Narumi has a “clean” slate or something for his upcoming Final Answer. I guess at this point it’s to be expected, but these amnesia-driven plotlines always have this horrible contrivance plotline. The worst worst worst was Final Fantasy 8, where everyone is walking around an orphanage and they’re like “hey…wait a second, didn’t we all used to live here together? GUESS WE HAD AMNESIA”. Woooo beating up Narumi time for Shinji. Needs more Sleggar. These omake have gotten better and better.

This should have gone beyond omake

Episode 13: Alright, final stretch. Then I go to sleep and figure out what to do with this monstrosity later. Mitsuki is lucky. If she were Haruna’s childhood friend, she would not have a snowball’s chance in hell of holding onto him, but the build-up suggests he will go with her, though there is the severe first-girl convention to overcome. Hmm, I think I like emo Haruka more. Before now she was just…bland. So I thought it was interesting Haruna said he felt like she wasn’t part of the real world. +100 points for a scene from an overhead angle of Haruna shouting CHIKUSHOUUUUUU toward the sky at the top of his lungs while waving his fists.

Well, ladies and gentlemen, *sipppppp* I hope you’ve enjoyed yourselves. I’m going to *sippppp* go home and count my money while I masturbate.

Episode 14: Time to put this show to rest. Godammit. I spilled gatorade on myself. Confused by translation: difference between ‘farewells’ and ‘goodbyes’…Haruna fails at finding the romance-tree. The romance-tree has grown strong after years of healthy protein drippings. Typical genre got-to-the-place-but-you-weren’t-there-so-I-looked-desolate-until-you-showed-up-behind-me scene. SO GENRE ENCODED that it is inescapable. This is a good scene. Many points recovered for good Conclusion scene here. Now it is my favorite time. Denoument time. I love how anime have these long fucking denouments. Though the best denoument is the Animal House denoument (see: Nanoha A’s). In the brand of denoument they’re using here is Everybody’s Happy Ending. It is not as good as the Animal House kind, but will suffice. Who the hell…is this brunette. Oh oh oh. “A few years later..” is another kind, almost as good as Animal House. Wait did Haruka get married or take a pen-name? Ohhhh and moving into another kind, the storybook allegory (oftenused for other parts of a story as well). And for further bonus points, closing MONTAGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. GROUP HUG!! (Yes I am very out-of-it at the moment due to lack of sleep and lack of air-conditioning).