Alright, SaiGar, you and I need to have a little conversation

January 9, 2007 at 12:17 am (Anime)

So, I realize it is mostly a joke in the first place, but we gotta fix this whole SaiGar thing. I’m not going to get e-herpes by sticking my internet p0n0s in 4chan, so you, oh very small number of blog readers, will have to help.

Let’s take a look at this last bout to see what the problem is.

Group C
Contender Name Round 1 Round 2 Round 3 Round 2 Round 1 Contender Name
L
Death Note
164 08/01

Hiraga Saito

  01/02

???

  02/02

???

  08/01

Tohno SHIKI

79

Bean Bandit
Riding Bean / Gunsmith Cats
Maito Gai
Naruto
107 164 Matsushiro Ken
Yakitate!! Japan
Hiraga Saito
Zero no Tsukaima
172 15/02

???

185 Tohno SHIKI
Tsukihime

If you’re like me, you will notice a very strange thing on the right side: Manager Ken has been defeated! I thought that one would be a landslide, so I became suspicious. Then something was pointed out to me about the left side: an equally obvious winner lost just as handily. More on this case in a bit.

Now, I didn’t vote on the left side, but I should have. I didn’t vote, because I don’t really watch / didn’t watch any of those shows except Zero no Tsukaima, and I don’t really care about Saitou. This is the major problem with this contest: people who haven’t watched shows or don’t know or remember characters who should TOTALLY win don’t bother voting on them, and just make sure to vote for their particular favorite characters when they come up. This is NO WAY to have a fun contest.

So I’m going to help.

I’m going to (try to; I am actually kinda busy) cover all the characters in each round before it runs. Now I need some kind of metric for analysis here, so I found the person with the manliest name in #animenano to ask for advice:

[seth|saigarislies] What would you say are the three most important aspects of MANLINESS?
[Flak] hmmm
[Flak] to be able to hit hard, to be able to take hard hits, and to love
[seth|saigarislies] So. Guts. Courage. and HADO-CORE.
[Flak] yes.

(Conversation edited somewhat)

I don’t need a perfect metric, just something to provide some means of consistent insight, and I think this works as well as any.

So let’s look over yesterday’s matches.

LEFT SIDE

L (Death Note)
Now L is pretty much fails here. Okay, he’s got some guts. He sacrificed a dude on live TV to help track down his victim. That’s pretty GUTSy, but the guy was on death row anyway, so not really. But Courage? Please. He hides behind his secret identity. Love? Yeah. I didn’t think so. L may be smart, but I can surmise he doesn’t manage to catch Light for most of the duration of the series, so he ain’t that smart, and he’s certainly not GAR. Moving on.

Hiraga Saito (Zero no Tsukaima)

So at first glance, Saito seems to do okay. He’s certainly got some Courage in a pinch. He doesn’t usually turn down fights, even when he’s heavily unfavored. While he is pretty strong, pretty much all of his powers come from Plot Devices, not from Guts. So screw that. Since it’s a harem show, he’s got some HARDCORE going for him, and he doesn’t rush to turn away the advances of his haremettes, so he scores some points there I suppose. So, I think it is fair to call him GAR. But NOT compared to…

MAITO GAI (Naruto)

Okay, I know Naruto is for lamerz or whatever. I’ve seen only a little of it, but this dude is totally awesome. First of all, his name is translated into English as “Might Guy” or “Mighty Guy” which is pretty great already. Second of all he has humongous eyebrows. I will address his three qualities by blatantly stealing quotes from his WkPd write-up:

Re: COURAGE:

Guy believes that “hard work without believing in yourself is worthless”, and though he uses the terms “youth”, “power” and “explosion” a lot, he sadly notes that his own youthful power seems to have started fading. He first mentions this during training with Lee, who he can no longer keep up with.

Based on that vocabulary, I think we can safely assume Gai understands his Courage.

Re: GUTS:

When Lee makes any sort of infraction, Guy will punch him and give him some sort of ridiculous task. The two then burst into tears and embrace. When this happens, a beach at sunset, complete with crashing waves, usually appears behind them.

This shows that not only does Gai understand the importance of having Guts, but further that he understands the interaction between Guts and Courage, and also that they all must be tempered with Love.

RE: LOVE:

Guy is perhaps the most emotional character in the series, and possesses several odd mannerisms accentuating this fact. Even by anime standards, in which character emotions are often ridiculously overstated, Guy over-reacts to just about everything.

So perhaps I misspoke when I paraphrased “Love” as “hado-core”. Hardcore is what Saito has when he hits on his haremettes. Love is what Gai has. True manly love from his heart of hearts. It’s just so rare these days that I forget it’s out there, and have to settle for the entertaining, but less GAR hardcore subsitute. Being unafraid to show his emotions is another big GAR point for Gai.

Basically, Gai should obviously have won all over the place. It should have been a mess, but he wasn’t even the second-most-voted-for. I imagine this is largely due to a backlash against narutardism, but, geez people, it’s not WORTH IT. Not when you cause people like Gai to lose a GAR contest on the internet!!

I’m gonna skip the right side, I think, because I need to cover today’s contest and also sleep. But anybody who knows Manager Ken knows he pretty much should have just won by default. Or been given a by-round.

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11 Comments

  1. Jellyfish Marine said,

    I second that. Although I’m not a Naruto fan, I’d prefer Gai-sensei over Saitou for a GAR.

    Though I still have trouble choosing between Char and Quattro…sigh.
    Could Shin-chan be considered a GAR as well?

    Ps. I love Nanoha-chan but personally don’t want to see her win this match, nor mr. cabbage =w=ili

  2. megavolt said,

    I personally didn’t think anyone on the left side was particularly gar at the time. I guess I didn’t think too much about it, but I can see your points for Gai. I haven’t seen Naruto in over a year though, so it was pretty much out of my mind.

    I was seriously awestuck by Manager’s loss though. I still have no idea how he managed to get defeated. Garcher and Nanoha are probably going to make it to the finals.

  3. Leviathean said,

    If you are up to it, covering the matches would help me a great deal, since I don’t really know half of these people, and simply searching the characters on Wikipedia doesn’t really give us too much sense of their GARness level.

  4. Kurogane said,

    Dude, Saito is GAR. If going against orders to go up, ALONE, against an army of 30000, in order to save the women you’re in love with is not GAR, nothing is.

  5. lolikitsune said,

    Doing shit to save women you love is not GAR compared to doing shit to save your precious subordinates!

    Seth, this post rocked. Kuro’s just an idiot >:)

  6. eurys said,

    It’s a shame Gai-sensei lost. Usually, true Gar characters don’t obtain the love of a woman, even less love of several women. Being the lead of a harem should be automatic disqualification.
    Saitou is just a shallow character for self-fulfillment.

  7. drmchsr0 said,

    I told you all Saitou was your typical hero bull.

    Also, I am disappointed at people voting for Tohno SHIKI (coward, can’t accept reality, raped Kohaku, turned his sister into a monster so he would not feel alone, KILLED HIS BEST FRIEND WHEN HE WAS EIGHT, though in his defense, he was under Kohaku’s control T_T) even though he’s about as GAR as Shinji Matou (he raped his sister, is a coward, stole his sister’s Servant and threw her away like trash when she was defeated, and is a downright fucktard.)

  8. Bearhouse said,

    What are you talking about?

    L is hardcore GAR. First, L probably have aspergers so being emotionally constraint comes as a natural trait for him.
    Second, Going up against a mass murderer was L’s way of saying that the best defence is offence. Takes Guts, no?
    He fought that battle bravely till the bitter end. Courage.
    But he died not a worthless death. No, what he did was equal in Garness as to what Mello did when he blew his whole freaking hideout in the air plus when he left his orphanage in order to live on his own with gangsters, all just to catch Light. Near later used Mello and exposed Light in the end.
    Mello + Near = L.
    L= GAR

  9. JKman said,

    Opinions are like assholes; everybodu has one.

    So make your own fucking election and or get back to your closet.

  10. Swan said,

    I agree that L is indeed very gar. But with this whole arrangement being a mere poplarity contest and all I wasn’t all that surprised. And won’t be when archer wins the finals.

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