Saigar 1-C-3: Cyborgs, Space Pirates and Mecha Pilots

January 9, 2007 at 10:54 pm (Anime)

Today’s SaiGar matchup is thankfully free of bullshit harem protagonists. After some consideration I’ve had to make these summaries a bit shorter (at least until the two-match days have past) in order to have time for them.

ABSTRACT: You can actually vote for almost anybody here without cause for horrible shame, but personally I favor Batou and the Dread Pirate Space Pirate Captain Harlock GARlock.

LEFT SIDE

Batou (Ghost in the Shell)

GAR-TYPE: James-Earl-Jones
QUOTE: Psychic – “Something fruitful has passed between them.” Batou – “A persimmon, maybe?”
SUMMARY: I dunno if this is supposed to be movie Batou or SAC Batou or what, but regardless his strenghs pretty much all rely on the fact that he’s a huge serious dude with a DEEP VOICE that can benchpress a truck.

Kabuto Kouji (Mazinger Z)

GAR-TYPE: Hot-Blooded Shounen
QUOTE: “The Jet Scrander is better than any girlfriend!”
SUMMARY: Kouji is the ORIGINAL nekketsu mecha pilot. He’s also, so I’m told, NOT the manliest dude in Mazinger Z. However he deserves some mention as the center of an awesome archtype. If you vote for him, it helps establish that you are OLD SKOOL.

Killy (Blame!)

GAR-TYPE: Bad-ass
QUOTE: “…”
SUMMARY: I’ve only read, like, one issue of Blame!, but it only took about thirty seconds, because it had almost no dialogue. As far as I know, Killy doesn’t talk much, but mostly uses his gun to shoot huge holes through some kind of space station. Apparently he’s like a 3000-year-old cyborg bad-ass who goes around killing, uh, whatever the villains in this series are. I could see the vote for Killy on grounds of bad-assitude, but I feel his manliness…lacks love. Batou does as well, and in both cases it’s intentional because of the cyberpunk conventions about how technology estranges us from humanity, but I think Batou is less eerie than Killy.

RIGHT SIDE

Roger Smith (The Big O)

GAR-TYPE: Batman
QUOTE: “I have a rule that states that only young women can unconditionally enter this mansion.”
SUMMARY: Roger Smith is pretty much Batman, but a little more suave, and with a giant robot (controlled by wristwatch!) that he has affectionately named “Big O.” So it’s basically like if Batman were in Japanese porno, I guess. Anyway, while Roger Smith is TOTALLY AWESOME, I could see the argument that he is not as MANly as, say…

Captain Harlock (Captain Harlock)

GAR-TYPE: Space Pirate Captain
QUOTE: “I fight for no one’s sake. I only fight for something deep in my heart.”
SUMMARY: This is another anime (several actually) that I keep meaning to watch, but haven’t. It doesn’t matter, because all you really need to know about Captain GARlock is that he is also known as “Space Pirate Captain Harlock,” and that he is a rugged individualist who will never let The Man tell him what to do.

Ohta “Coach” Kouichiro (Gunbuster)

GAR-TYPE: Lech
QUOTE: (I can’t find a good representative quote for Coachee)
SUMMARY: Basically all the girls in Gunbuster want to suck his cock…for some reason. But is *he* the one piloting the big fucking mechs that save humanity? Nope. He’s actually kind of a jerk.

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4 Comments

  1. Jellyfish Marine said,

    Roger Smith-sama…
    /me vote and happily fainted

    Left side is a bit difficult to decide since I know only Kouji but the other two look GAR also…hmm. On top of that, Kazuya is far more GAR than Kouji. No vote for left side, maybe.

  2. jpmeyer said,

    COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOACH!

  3. name said,

    Hello!,

  4. name said,

    Good day!,

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