Maria Holic gets Shafted

January 9, 2009 at 9:24 pm (Anime)

I’m leery of Shaft as a studio, but Zetsubou Sensei was pretty good, and the premise for Maria Holic sounded potentially funny, so I figured I’d give the first episode a go.

Unfortunately Shaft can’t just make anime. They have to take anime, whip out their dongs, wrap their dongs in that anime, pump up and down until they have a nice lather of gooey semen, and then fling the messied product back at the viewer for the Money Shot.

I find Shaft’s animation and visual style somewhere between intensely distracting and vertigo inducing (I think it may literally have given me gas, in this instance). I think they have no sense of pacing or focus. I think this didn’t matter for Zetsubou Sensei, because it was a high-energy gag comic that had really fantastic source material which survived relatively well no matter what damage Shaft might have done to it.

Shaft reminds me of Takashi Murakami except without the irony.

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Akikan – Vending Machine Anime

January 4, 2009 at 5:08 pm (Anime)

The first episode of Akikan was basically 23 minutes of sexual innuendo, “BAKA”, blushing, “cover it up!”, etc. I mean that’s not necessarily a bad thing. But it’s another one of those subservience wish-fulfillment things where the girl (who, by the way, is also a can of melon soda; apparently steel cans turn into girls when you drink from them, whereas aluminum cans are just…cans) is dependent on the guy for her entire existence. He has to refill her with carbon dioxide by kissing her every morning, also she frequently asks him to drink her, even though it would end her life.

Now, to be fair, this is pretty much what was expected.

Also, the city official responsible for the Akikan program shows up at some point, tries to explain the plot, decides to try molesting the male protagonist instead (he has a large sign above his desk that says “I LIKE MEN”), then eventually gives up and leaves. Good plan.

Basically I would only use Akikan to punish friends for suggesting I “can’t find anything more groan-worthy than [whatever]…”

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